Deadwood: a walk in the woods

I mean ‘deadwood’ in the nicest possible way.

oak crownMy local woods is part of an oak savannah that borders the river and once stood much closer to the shore of Lake Ontario. The trees are rooted in undulating sand hills, which are themselves the remnants of a prehistoric lake. Perhaps it is their loose footing that brings so many trees down. Once down, they lie where they fell. Even if they block a well-used path, the parks department let them be. Their decay is imperceptible but sure. The deadwood is host to insects and seedlings and whatever else thrives on it. Today is ideal decaying weather – very hot and humid. This is what I saw on my walk.

fallen tree #1fallen tree 2fallen tree 3 edtrickle treeThe tree above was undermined by a tiny trickle of a brook. The same trickle took down the next tree, a tall one. Its crown fell across the usual path and it took me several months to discover the detour around it.

fallen tree 5 edSomeone has ill-advisedly fashioned a rail of dead branches, certainly not a parks person.

railThere are, thank goodness, no “Use at Your Own Risk” signs nor should there be walking aids. Wood-walkers are made of hardier stuff.

fallen tree 7 hollow tree edSome oaks hang on valiantly in spite of past trauma.

new tree edMeanwhile new trees just planted near the river are loving this extremely wet June.

Summer Solstice

Today, June 21, 2013 is the Summer Solstice. Summer officially began at 1:03 EDT. It is the longest day of the year, here in the Northern Hemisphere. It was light at 5 a.m. where I live and although the sun will set just after 9 p.m., there will be light well after that. In Sweden it will never really get dark and in Edinburgh barely.

I like to hike up Solstice Canyon to the little waterfall on this day.

Solstice Cyn pho #2 But this year I have had to send delegates instead. They assure me the falls is still there.

close up solstice fallsIt  is just above the ruins of the Roberts house that fell victim to wildfire years ago in spite of its deep, natural pool.

What a great place to perform Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream: Titania, Oberon and the fairies in the rocky grotto, the workmen, Quince, Bottom, et al rehearsing their play on the colorful tiles that were the kitchen’s, the erstwhile lovers who have run away from Athens on the gravel path, Puck flitting between, bewitching the wrong people into love, Bottom saddled with an ass’s head proving irresistible to the exquisite Titania. But they have to be quick, so quick, because it is the shortest night and this is a fleeting dream.

Failing this, do something unexpected to celebrate the light.

June: inconsequential moments

sunny bike pathIt rained heavily all morning while I read the weekend papers, all lights on to brighten the gloom. Then the rain grew lighter and at some imperceptible point, stopped altogether and the sun began to break through. By late afternoon, it was a real June day. I knew it would be too wet to go up through the woods to my favourite walk on the ridge trail, so I chose the paved bicycle path instead.

It turns out that I don’t need to go into the woods because it is breathing out on either side of the path, a moist, woody, green exhalation like a blessing. A stiff breeze draws my eyes upward. I have not realized how tall the trees are until now nor how many of them are poplars. The wind catches the tops, tossing them first one way and then another, moving wave-like across the height. The poplars sing as they stir. Poplars have always spoken to me. They stood close in by the first home I remember and danced in slight air currents when all else was still.

poplars in the windThe path emerges from the shade of the woods to a crescent of mown lawn lying open to the sun. I go as far as the culvert that carries the little brook under the path. The brook edges the woods here, dividing it from the lawn, flowing under ferns and low branches. Today it is babbling busily with the runoff. I wish I could capture its bubbling music.

One cardinal has been singing as I walked and I catch a glimpse of his vivid red and his crested head as he leads me away from his nest. I cannot follow him. I do not fly.

The half hour’s walk has been quiet and contented, easy and relaxed.

Earlier in the day, I listened to author James Lasdun being interviewed mainly about his recent memoir Give Me Everything You Have, the story of his 5 year ordeal at the hands of a cyber stalker, a writer and former student whom he calls Nazrin. Initially Lasdun helped her by sending her novel of life in repressive Iran to his editor, but then Nazrin turns on him, accuses him of stealing her book and selling it to other Iranian writers who publish her stories. She goes on to accuse him on “Comments” of drugging and sexually assaulting women. She caps this by emailing him increasingly violent anti-Semitic threats. None of it is apparently bad enough to merit police action, particularly since Nazrin has left New York City for Los Angeles and is outside of Lasdun’s available police jurisdiction.

Lasdun’s mind is more and more taken up with the harassment. He becomes obsessed with it.  He begins writing an account of what is happening as documentation and the account morphs into a book.

One of the central images he uses in the book is that of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. The Green Knight rode into the dining hall and challenged the Knights of the Round Table to cut off his head, promising that in a year and a day, he would in turn, cut off his beheader’s head, a give-me-everything-you’ve-got challenge if ever there was one. Sir Gawain beheads him. The Green Knight takes his head under his arm and rides away. Now the real story begins.

Since Lasdun published his book, several other people have contacted him to say that Nazrin has also stalked them. Meanwhile she has stopped communicating. Now there are moments, Lasdun says,when he realizes that life can be inconsequential.

He means that life does not have to be full of high drama and desperate struggle. It does not have to be full of significance and fraught with conflict. Moments can be ordinary and forgettable. He did not have to explain what he meant. You could hear the relief in his voice

Having had an interesting life and having spent a good deal of it dodging and weaving in expectation of the Green Knight’s revenge, I was grateful to be reminded that life can be peacefull and I carried that comfort with me as I took a walk on a breezy late afternoon in mid June.

Lost Gardens

rosesHalf a century ago, it was still possible to amble across a hayfield on the hill where I was born and come upon the stone-walled cellar hole of a house that had been burned down or had been abandoned and had fallen in. Always you found these simple roses growing there. The cellar holes are still there but the woods has taken over the fields now, and roses do not grow in shade.

But I have found other lost gardens.

path thro woodsI go through the woods in the park half a block from my home and wend my way up to what I call the ridge trail.

sunny old roadIt must be an abandoned road that the parks people mow. I know that at one point before the place became a municipal park, it was a golf course. I have literally stumbled over the water pipes that watered the greens, But this road seems to go even further back than that. In the early spring, I would pass lilac bushes in bloom at intervals, which suggest that once there were houses dotted along it. One late spirea is still hanging on.

spirea

There hardly seems to be enough room at the edge of the road for substantial buildings. The land falls steeply off on both sides. I wonder if these were summer cottages. They would have been near the mouth of the river and in walking distance of Lake Ontario. Then I note that people have planted rhubarb.

rhubarbAnd there are honey locusts that were covered in white flowers last week.

locustsThey are young trees, so they are puzzling. Locusts are not native to these parts, but we planted one in the yard of that house under the hill I talked about in my post on Gatsby. (115journals.com) And I see very tall ones on Davenport Rd, maybe 70 ft. high. Perhaps they are evidence of the golf course, but it has been gone for 50 years, in which case they would be taller. They must have self-seeded as most of the woods did once it was let to grow.

old roadwith pinesEventually, the trail leads to a small stand of pine trees and just past them a monument to the early European explorers, including Etienne Brulé, who was the first of them to sight the big lake. Then it is down a steep hill to the river, a story for another day.

river w. rushes

Mother’s Day

95994044Here’s to all the women who are mothers but didn’t get celebrated (or not to their satisfaction).  Here’s to those who mother other people’s children. Here’s to bereft mothers. Here’s to those who want to be mothers but are not. Here’s to cat mothers and dog mothers. Here’s to all those of whatever gender who follow the Great Mothering principle of the world.

The crab apple blossoms made a fuchsia display of themselves next to the more demure apple blossoms this weekend in our town. Down by the river, the unselfconscious swans swam right to my feet.

swans

Once again Georgia loaned me her family, although I was chastised that, in fact, it was always my family and of course was and is. As it turned out all the men had to be elsewhere with other mothers or working and so we were seven women and a six month old baby girl at the round brunch table, one of us, very much a mother-in-training at 11. There was an almost-teenaged boy hiding out somewhere and two younger girls, who had written loving tributes to “the best mother in the world”. She needs that positive reinforcement. She is the only mother doing baby-duty.

One of the absent men had precooked most of brunch and a young aunt grilled the French toast. We had champagne.

trillium enlarged

Happy Mother’s Day!

She’d Come Undone

IMG_0194

“She’s come undone,” the Guess Who sang. “She didn’t know what she was headed for… She’d come undone.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VLMF5GM0Kt8

Indeed she had. I found her on the top shelf of the closet I was cleaning, in a sturdy, brightly coloured box. When I opened it, I found she had fallen to pieces. She was dismembered. She had lost her head.

Still I recognized her of course. She had come into the house under the hill one Christmas time. She was by no means a new doll even then. She had been found by grandma at an antique sale. She was made of composition. She had blue eyes and red hair and she was dressed in a silky pink dress over petticoats. She was more my age than my daughter’s, although she had been so well cared for that she seemed like new, except she was missing one joint on her left pinkie. She had come originally from Eatons catalogue, my mother told my seven-year-old. Her name was Anne Shirley, of Green Gables fame.

I was deeply affected by her condition and I started calling doll shops. No, there were no more doll doctors, I was told by one and all. What, then, happens to sick dolls, I wondered. Listen, I thought, I’ve watched my own grandmother repair my dolls. All it takes is a button hook and new elastics. Just a minute. That sounds familiar. I had already tried to fix her years ago, but I couldn’t get the right tension: doll limbs suddenly became ballistic missiles.

This time, however, I didn’t give up. I searched the internet and began sending emails. Of course there were doll hospitals and medical personnel if I would pack her up and ship her miles away. I decided against cross-border medical care. I didn’t want some customs officer peering in at her. I wrapped that sturdy, bright box in plain brown paper and sent her off to Ottawa.

It was a long convalescence, without visiting hours, just emails of reassurance. Then I found myself in a people hospital far across the continent, sitting beside the doll’s mother, holding her hand, willing her back to us. She did come back and so did Anne.

Last Friday, a big box arrived. I cut the tape as excitedly as the 7 year-old had all those years ago. There she was, all her limbs in place and her head firmly attached to her shoulders. Her complexion sparkled, her blue eyes glowed. Weren’t her lips redder than before? Carefully I unwrapped her clothes. The silky, pink dress, the petticoat, the bonnet, the stockings, even the knickers had been cleaned and pressed. I couldn’t get her boots back on. Had her feet swollen in transit?

So she sits now in the child’s rocking chair that my great grandmother gave me when I was 2, the chair my wood-working son repaired for me.  She surveys the room serenely.

Christmas Cactus

One of my treasured memories is of my mother, just before Christmas, coming downstairs with cries of joy. She was carrying a huge Christmas cactus that had been languishing unattended in a closed room. It was completely covered with riotous fuchsia flowers.

Rona Black Photography's avatarrona black photography

Christmas Cactus

My grandmother had a knack for getting these to bloom all year around. Mine blooms once a year, but it always reminds me of her.

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