The designer of the website for my book, sent me an email headed, “Blue Now”. My first response was how does he know. What he meant was that he had done some html magic so that the links on the “Buy” page showed up blue. My mood had nothing to do with it.
In fact, my mood began to lift after I got my nephew who is a WordPress genius to help me with irresolvable problems, irresolvable by me that is. I had actually found the solutions to most of my problems in “Help”, but either I couldn’t understand them or I couldn’t implement them. I am, after all, the woman who had to try 8 times to get her pressure cooker to work. (See “Hapless Human vs Pressure Cooker” posted May 22) I began to climb back up out of that pit of low self-esteem that not being able to centre a picture or single-space poetry had dumped me into. I know -too sensitive for my own good.
Later I spent an hour or more with the delightful people at my satellite company rebooting my PVR so that it would actually record instead of just telling me it was doing so.
The rejection of my appeal of my income tax is not so easily handled and has to go down under the category of “things I cannot change.” I can, however, rejoice that I had the wisdom to know the difference.
Meanwhile, I received in the mail a new shipment of supplements from Endomet in Arizona and the report based on a hair sample I had sent them. The report confirmed what I had begun to suspect that the blues can be primarily physical -tired adrenals, sluggish thyroid, poor metabolism of nutrients. As it turns out I had won a trifecta of low scores. I got much advice among other things to eat more protein and less sugar. Not sure I am up for 12 oz. steaks and giving up maple syrup on porridge may put me off brekkie, but I promise to try. In addition, they tell me that the supplements they sent may make me feel tired. They are intended to get me to slow down. There’s a slower gear!!!!
Nevertheless, I had already decided to incorporate relaxation in my recovery program. One of the advantages of age is that you’ve already done most workshops, including the one where you learned to relax. It has been a stressful 6 months in our family, but things are settling down now and it’s time to let go of constant vigilance. That strategy seems promising. It will lead to a more comfortable life.
I think that these strategies added to the techniques I usually use -reading Rumi, listening to music-rock, classical and jazz (where does she get the time?), walking in the woods, having flowers about the place, counting my blessings- will make the persistent inner editor who tells me how flawed I am and how I have failed myself financially and in so many other ways just shut the you-know-what up.